Some Outdated Relationship Rules You Should Forget About This 2018

Remember in our secondary school time when we started dating and we had a long list of rules we had to remember or do prove our partner really cares ? “Don’t call first,” “Don’t kiss on the first date,” “Don’t be too needy.”  😄😄😄

We were programmed to think that dating is about following a set of rules that would allow us to trick a romantic interest into thinking we are the one. But it’s 2018 — should we really be trying to trick a romantic interest into thinking anything? Should we even have any rules at all, instead of just following what we actually want? Say it with me now — Dating. Should. Be. About. Finding. What. We. Want. So screw the rules and figure out what works best for you and what you want and feel comfortable with, in the grand scheme of your love life.  

Here are Some rules we should definitely forget about this 2018.

1. Don’t kiss on the first date

It’s time to stop pretending that physical chemistry is not important in a relationship, even at the very beginning. While the first date is traditionally about getting to know someone to see if they’re worth pursuing with a second date, physical connection is important too, and everyone has a different level of comfort. If you smooch before you even go on a date, or wait until the second month for a kiss on the cheek, what does it matter? Rules shouldn’t dictate our varying comfort levels and preferences when it comes to physical connection. If you kiss or not kiss on the first date, it does not change a thing.

2. Wait for him to make the first move.

We’ve already established that it’s #yearofthewoman, and 2018 is way too late for us to still be keeping around these silly gender roles. Besides, making the first move might save you a lot of time and energy later on — for one, no more waiting by the phone for him to call (go ahead and slide into his DMs, already!), and if you meet someone that wouldn’t want to date a strong, independent woman who knows exactly what she wants, you don’t want to waste your time on them.

3. Play “Hard to Get”

We hold this idea that whoever cares less in the relationship is the one who has the most power. But should love really be about power? The truth is that caring is not a bad thing, as we’ve believed it to be. It’s okay to care; we’re supposed to care about each other. So what does it matter if you “come on too strong” or “care more”? Be true to your feelings and what you want. Because when you find the person you really care about, who totally impresses you and who you know is going to respect you and could make you happy, you should not want to play hard to get — to quote our go-to When Harry Met Sally, you should “want forever to start as soon as possible.”

4. Don’t introduce them to your friends and family until it’s serious

While it’s absolutely fine not to want to intermix potential love interests with your friends and family, if you do want to invite the potential love interest you’ve been talking to on Bumble out to drinks with your friends, or your mom’s in town and you run into the guy you’ve been casually dating, do not panic! We should be open about what we want and expect out of a relationship anyway, so introducing them to your family and friends should not be off-putting or confusing to them. Friends and families are big parts of our lives, so if you don’t want to separate them from a possible romantic partner, then don’t!

5. Men should pay the check

While forgetting about this relationship rule might not be great for our bank accounts, it is great for our relationship. Originally, paying the bill was associated with power. Men paid, because women did not work, and therefore, men had the financial control in the relationship (as well as control in many other areas, too). But we are working, driven, and powerful women, who deserve partners that are equal to us. So why expect the man to pay the bill if you both equally wear the pants? He takes care of the margaritas, you get the guacamole, and you both split the cab fair home.